punkrawkdewd:

Are you fucking kidding me

punkrawkdewd:

Are you fucking kidding me

(Source: satchoe, via punkycondom)

dutchster:

i’m very sorry for making you aware of your own blinking at this moment

(via pizza)

anukii:

rocprinceray:

White People: - “Black people are always pulling the race card!”

And let’s not forget the white man who left his infant child in a car and got no punishment but a news interview and “possible” charges.
carlsagan:


unclepolymer:

Pusheen the cat making some chemistry.

That cat is not wearing safety goggles, he hasn’t even bothered to clean up that spilled solvent, and he is holding that Erlenmeyer flask way to close to his face.
Pusheen the Cat, more like Pusheen the limits of lab safety

carlsagan:

unclepolymer:

Pusheen the cat making some chemistry.

That cat is not wearing safety goggles, he hasn’t even bothered to clean up that spilled solvent, and he is holding that Erlenmeyer flask way to close to his face.

Pusheen the Cat, more like Pusheen the limits of lab safety

(via theuniversebleedsstardust)

istoleyourpanties:

quarterclever:

especiallygoodfinder:

nepeter:

australians dont have sex

australians mate

I spat out my coffee

sorry about your image

frICK

(Source: shalrath, via pizza)

thinksquad:

Oklahoma cities and towns are banned from raising the local minimum wage under a new state law.
Gov. Mary Fallin signed the measure Monday. The new law also bars localities from requiring that employees receive a certain number of sick or vacation days, either paid or unpaid.
http://money.cnn.com/2014/04/15/news/economy/oklahoma-minimum-wage-ban/index.html?hpt=hp_t4

thinksquad:

Oklahoma cities and towns are banned from raising the local minimum wage under a new state law.

Gov. Mary Fallin signed the measure Monday. The new law also bars localities from requiring that employees receive a certain number of sick or vacation days, either paid or unpaid.

http://money.cnn.com/2014/04/15/news/economy/oklahoma-minimum-wage-ban/index.html?hpt=hp_t4

(via balcerak)

johannsebastianbitch:

You know whats fucking scary? The fact that I could literally change my life at any moment. I could stop talking to everyone that makes me unhappy. I could kiss whoever i want. I could shave my head or get on a plane or take my own life. Nothing is stopping me. The entire world is in my hands, and I have no idea what to do with it.

(Source: jamesbabeshaw, via poopflow)

Actual Quotes from my Dad (An English Teacher)

  • Dad: Why the hell did you put a comma there?
  • Dad: Do you even know what a participial phrase is?
  • Dad: Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time.
  • Dad: Who should I dress up as for the movie premier?
  • Dad: Hey are you awak? I know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. I need you to read this report. I can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit.
  • Dad: Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she doesn't care. I hate her.
  • Dad: I need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet.
  • Dad: Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know I don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math.
  • Dad: Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today.
  • Dad: Mrs. Ashworth and I have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great Expectations.
  • Dad: It's like you didn't read the fucking book.
  • Dad: Okay. So this week you're reading this book I stole from Mrs. Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it.
  • Dad: *puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that I read them*
  • Dad: My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society. You aren't my son. Leave.
  • Dad: Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all I can afford, so...
  • Dad: Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass.
  • Dad: I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really need to know.
  • Dad: Fuck the government.
  • Dad: Fuck the school board.
  • Dad: Close the door.
  • Dad: Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and I hate him, but he also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha. DICKens.
  • Dad: I love puns.
  • Dad: People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes.
  • Dad: Please shut up.
  • Dad: Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels weird.
  • Dad: I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change your ringtones to inappropriate rap music.
  • Dad: I fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of Austria-Hungary today and I almost told her to get out.
  • Dad: You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there.
  • Dad: Barbra Parks is fucking Queen.
  • Dad: I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm too lazy.
  • Dad: If I have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one more dance, I will kill them both.
  • Dad: They act like I care what they think.
  • Dad: I hate homework.
  • Dad: I have decided to become a politician.
  • Dad: What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman? Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed.